It’s hard trying to review a Weird Al album. Musically, they’re well played, pitch perfect send up of anything and everything that song is about. The albums are funny and sharp, well put together. There’s not much to complain about, except that it just isn’t like that first time you heard him when you were a kid, and if your interest in pop music has waned any, it’s even more difficult to find anything to like on his more recent outings.
Even Weird Al’s twitter jokes that most reviews of his newly released CD Alpocalypse run along the lines of: “It's really good, but not nearly as great as (whichever Weird Al record I listened to when I was 12)”. Which is pretty much spot on; but in a world where the internet and it’s myriad of parody artist can take any situation and make a song out of it, the powers of Weird Al might seem to be old timey wizardry of legend.
While this may be the case, and I definitely had my strongest Weird Al love in my early teens, nothing can quite escape that almost HALF this album was released as Internet Leaks a couple of years back. In fact, the strongest tracks are those same tracks. Perhaps a lot of my “feh” towards this album is more due to the disinterest in the music being parodied. Since I’m unfamiliar with Miley Cyrus’ catalog the parody “Party in the C.I.A.” is still pretty funny and catchy, there’s just no connection to the song as a whole. The obligatory Polka medley (Polka Face) is always a welcome addition to any Weird Al album. Oddly, there’s no major rapping on this album, something I enjoyed from Straight Outta Lynwood.
Another quandary is that maybe the parodies aren’t so hot because pop music itself isn’t really worth a damn right now. If there’s anything to mine it’s here and gone in a blink of an eye. Unless you want to sound like a vocal-modulated robot whore with nineteen drum beats going off around you, there’s not much talent or good songwriting in Pop Music right now.
Outside of the few parody songs, is the “style” parodies that pad out the album. I think this is Weird Al’s strongest suit in these 21st century days. I think that just an album of style parodies with his comedic sensibilities would go a lot further than some of his parody songs that seem so dated by the time they hit store shelves.
Weird Al’s also addressed some of this with the aforementioned Internet Leaks ostensibly being singles released digitally. In the future I think he should just do that, then collect them from time to time and release a physical album, much like he’s done now, but better.
I can’t honestly say that Weird Al fan’s should buy Alpocalypse. It’s not his best work, and most of the good stuff was already released years ago. Mostly, it just feels dated, and in the world of parody, that’s just too late.
Final Verdict: Pass
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
This is What it Sounds Like...When A-Holes Lie
I’m always amused by the “hey look over there” aspect of much of the right-wing writing. It’s not enough that they’re twisting news and history with a crazy-eyed intensity seen only in balloon animal artists; it’s that they’re also just making things up, lying perfectly still in the tall grass of vagaries and make believe world view that’s shared only by a fistful of people in the beltway. I’ve long since given up on the belief that the right-wing could present facts and actually inform people instead of demagoguing them with a rhetoric choke hold that pythons would envy.
Enter Jay Ambrose, long held as a “I’m going to back this editorial up with half-assed bullshit” kind of writer. One of his columns is how the left leaning liberals are just lying their faces off, and are producing videos to back their scheming tricks and falsehoods. These lies are doing irreparable damage to the right-wing. Where he uses the plural “lies” yet only provides one singular proof of “lies“, and even then it can’t even be counted as a lie as it is a video mocking the Republican Medicare reform.
As a side note, I’d like to point out that the right-wing has a horrible time with satire. I do know people in real life that don’t understand sarcasm or irony. What’s so mind melting is how a lot of right-wingers share this hive mind of just not being able to tap in to the irony of their very existence, or recognize parody or satire.
With this in mind, Jay Ambrose’s “propaganda” is a video showing a Rep. Ryan figure pushing an old lady off a cliff. Because the GOP is all about giving it to Granny with this Medicare reform bill. It’s so grotesque, that Mr. Ambrose suggests that there’s a special place in hell for this kind of “nasty propaganda”. The irony being that he’s pretty much a cog in the ever ready right-wing machine pushing this crazy “reform” as something the nation is desperate for. Never mind that ending the two wars we’re currently engaged and ending the Bush tax cuts would go a long way to fix our nation’s “credit card spending spree” problem.
What’s even more pathetic is that the entire time the right-wing should’ve been harping on this deficit problem they were too busy trying to cut Obama off at the pass and label him a socialist, Maoist, blah blah blah, that was destroying America and that they would never in a billion years have a beer with him. When Cheney stated that “Reagan prove deficits don’t matter” the right-wing could’ve spent days, if not months, railing against that kind of language. Heaven forbid if Biden would’ve said anything resembling that; I can only imagine how many months of columns Mr. Ambrose and his ilk could’ve got out of that one!
To say that Democrats have a “proclivity” to demonize entitlement sanity, and that Rep. Ryan was extraordinary in his courage to help push the Republican party off the same cliff with gran-ma is hilarious in it’s idiocy. Never mind these entitlement programs were in surplus’ for much of their existence and that the real problem with the entitlement programs is more the fact that previous administrations heavily borrowed from them and that the deficit is in fact made up of repaying the myriad of IOU’s. These programs aren’t causing the deficit, they are and should be paid in full.
The right-wing is positioning this as an old people being outraged issue, when in fact it’s an all ages soirée. I personally would like to enjoy the benefits that I’m going to spend most of my working life paying in to. That’s how it works. It’s a societal investment that should and has to this point paid dividends. This is right-wing Republican shell game that we as a nation must NOT fall for.
We must raise taxes, first and foremost. It’s going to ding everyone, but it needs to be done. Then, get out of our bullshit wars, and hopefully end the Bush Tax Cuts. Nickel-and-diming ourselves isn't going to solve anything, nor has it ever been wise to cut off your own nose to spite your face.
The mere thought that the act won’t take affect for ten year’s is cynical and spits in the face of voters today, and even those future generations that the right-wing is so careful to protect. It’s the very reason why it’s driven the Republicans off the cliff. The American public may be stupid, but is not ignorant to the white wash that’s being attempted here.
Rep. Ryan is so brave that he went home to a town hall event to “educate” his constituents. What he found were boo’s and hisses and general disdain for the plan. If only these people were to remain vigilant and make sure and vote the buffoon out of office when his term is due, I think we can all be better for it. Never mind that this “extraordinary bravery” was foolishly being forged as political capital in terms of a presidential bid is also laughable. Perhaps the presidential bid was yet another strategic way to get rid of Rep. Ryan and for the GOP to pretend it was a misstep, an educational miscue, but a learnable situation to fixing our nation’s creditworthiness.
There is nothing brave or extraordinary about being a partisan hack and pushing an agenda that sets our country back fifty years. There is nothing noble about being a talking points memo hackery pusher living on right-wing welfare like Jay Ambrose.
Enter Jay Ambrose, long held as a “I’m going to back this editorial up with half-assed bullshit” kind of writer. One of his columns is how the left leaning liberals are just lying their faces off, and are producing videos to back their scheming tricks and falsehoods. These lies are doing irreparable damage to the right-wing. Where he uses the plural “lies” yet only provides one singular proof of “lies“, and even then it can’t even be counted as a lie as it is a video mocking the Republican Medicare reform.
As a side note, I’d like to point out that the right-wing has a horrible time with satire. I do know people in real life that don’t understand sarcasm or irony. What’s so mind melting is how a lot of right-wingers share this hive mind of just not being able to tap in to the irony of their very existence, or recognize parody or satire.
With this in mind, Jay Ambrose’s “propaganda” is a video showing a Rep. Ryan figure pushing an old lady off a cliff. Because the GOP is all about giving it to Granny with this Medicare reform bill. It’s so grotesque, that Mr. Ambrose suggests that there’s a special place in hell for this kind of “nasty propaganda”. The irony being that he’s pretty much a cog in the ever ready right-wing machine pushing this crazy “reform” as something the nation is desperate for. Never mind that ending the two wars we’re currently engaged and ending the Bush tax cuts would go a long way to fix our nation’s “credit card spending spree” problem.
What’s even more pathetic is that the entire time the right-wing should’ve been harping on this deficit problem they were too busy trying to cut Obama off at the pass and label him a socialist, Maoist, blah blah blah, that was destroying America and that they would never in a billion years have a beer with him. When Cheney stated that “Reagan prove deficits don’t matter” the right-wing could’ve spent days, if not months, railing against that kind of language. Heaven forbid if Biden would’ve said anything resembling that; I can only imagine how many months of columns Mr. Ambrose and his ilk could’ve got out of that one!
To say that Democrats have a “proclivity” to demonize entitlement sanity, and that Rep. Ryan was extraordinary in his courage to help push the Republican party off the same cliff with gran-ma is hilarious in it’s idiocy. Never mind these entitlement programs were in surplus’ for much of their existence and that the real problem with the entitlement programs is more the fact that previous administrations heavily borrowed from them and that the deficit is in fact made up of repaying the myriad of IOU’s. These programs aren’t causing the deficit, they are and should be paid in full.
The right-wing is positioning this as an old people being outraged issue, when in fact it’s an all ages soirée. I personally would like to enjoy the benefits that I’m going to spend most of my working life paying in to. That’s how it works. It’s a societal investment that should and has to this point paid dividends. This is right-wing Republican shell game that we as a nation must NOT fall for.
We must raise taxes, first and foremost. It’s going to ding everyone, but it needs to be done. Then, get out of our bullshit wars, and hopefully end the Bush Tax Cuts. Nickel-and-diming ourselves isn't going to solve anything, nor has it ever been wise to cut off your own nose to spite your face.
The mere thought that the act won’t take affect for ten year’s is cynical and spits in the face of voters today, and even those future generations that the right-wing is so careful to protect. It’s the very reason why it’s driven the Republicans off the cliff. The American public may be stupid, but is not ignorant to the white wash that’s being attempted here.
Rep. Ryan is so brave that he went home to a town hall event to “educate” his constituents. What he found were boo’s and hisses and general disdain for the plan. If only these people were to remain vigilant and make sure and vote the buffoon out of office when his term is due, I think we can all be better for it. Never mind that this “extraordinary bravery” was foolishly being forged as political capital in terms of a presidential bid is also laughable. Perhaps the presidential bid was yet another strategic way to get rid of Rep. Ryan and for the GOP to pretend it was a misstep, an educational miscue, but a learnable situation to fixing our nation’s creditworthiness.
There is nothing brave or extraordinary about being a partisan hack and pushing an agenda that sets our country back fifty years. There is nothing noble about being a talking points memo hackery pusher living on right-wing welfare like Jay Ambrose.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Quick Cuts: Rant Edition: Duke Nukem Forever
Say what you will about him, Duke just never seemed to die. I don’t want wax all philosophic about the development of the game either. Something does have to be said about lowering ones expectations to new depths only to find them in serious arrears. I booted up Duke Nukem Forever and started playing, not hoping for the holy grail of the digital age, but something competent. Knowing full well that the Miyamoto adage of “A delayed game is eventually good, a bad game is bad forever” sometimes just doesn’t hold water in the western game development sphere. When a game like Duke Nukem Forever finally comes to the plate, after essentially being relegated to that bargain bin in the sky, you know that you’re walking in to a hot mess.
I think even if this game came out 5 or 6 years ago, it would still be laughed out of the room. Even to turn off modern convention and just play the game as if it’s “old school” flavor is a disservice to old school and nostalgia. This game is a complete recouping of 2K Games’ money/time and the joke is on us the consumer just wanting to hang with our old friend Duke.
The game itself feels like many different pieces tied together to form something resembling a campaign. Had Duke just stuck to the solo adventuring of his earlier efforts, I think the game wouldn’t come off so horribly. The fact that you interact with other characters near the beginning of the game, instantly tips you off that the smell you keep whiffing is the dog turd this game is. The character models are stiff and animate poorly. I had to wait for a NPC to move out of my way just to get down a hallway. There’s no clear direction on where to go half the time, I guess level design that guides the player is too much of a modern contrivance, and real men don’t need maps or arrows pointing you around to counteract the shitty design. The graphics seem to vary from level to level, with some giving off that ultra polished vibe, especially with some of the bigger enemies, and some levels just being the muddy, turd like Unreal engine fueled bogs that they are.
The lengthy development also betrays a lot of the “inspiration” (read: theft) of contemporary shooters during the time of Duke’s design. Physics puzzles from Half Life 2 and the mid 00’s, recharging health bar from Halo, first person platforming and jump pads from the late 90’s, vehicle portions from this last little bit of shooters, all show up and are executed so poorly. You’re probably better off just playing the inspiration and resigning yourself from the frustration.
I’d be curious to see what 13-15 year old boys have to say about this game. Outside of “it’s old” or “it sucks”. Even I can tap into a little bit of what Duke Nukem Forever is trying to stab at with the one-liners and general aesthetic. In fact, I played the first Duke when I was 14 on the Nintendo 64. Granted, it’s a PG-13 version of the game, but coming from my puritanical child rearing wherein I was not allowed to watch The Simpsons because Bart said damn one time, or Beavis and Butt-head for similar reasons, Duke 3D was a Star Gate to a world and game design that I’d never seen before and gave a firm handshake to my developing psyche as a pubescent young man.
Duke 3D wasn’t without it’s frustrations, not to say that it drug on well past the gloss and sheen of the earlier parts of the game. Dare I say, parts were down right boring and unfun slog fests mirroring the key card fetch quests of it‘s Mars based brethren. Where I could see that a George Broussard with his close-minded egotistical fortitude could parlay that in to a “it ain’t broke so don’t fix it” mentality that permeates Duke Nukem Forever.
As a study in that “it ain’t broke” mentality, Duke Nukem Forever shows how far the industry has come in just 5 years, let alone the 12-15 years it took for Duke to come out of the oven still undercooked and bland. There are parts of Duke Nukem Forever that show someone came along much later and added a modern coat of paint to the proceedings, but that does little to mask the stench of an old, rotting, turgid game design.
Duke Nukem Forever isn’t a lesson in game development. More likely, it’s a horror story much like a Frankenstein’s monster. There was a good idea in there at one point, something to aspire to. Over time, that idea became warped and bloated, then became a hot mess unloaded on to a shrugging masses.
I don’t know if Duke Nukem is loved ironically or not. Duke Nukem Forever could’ve gone a long way to answer that question. It could’ve taken up a lot of the campaign just mocking how out of touch Duke had become, or just go whole hog with the cartoonish world that’s laid out before him. Nevertheless, this halfassery does nothing but complicate the Duke Nukem quandary. Are you laughing with him or at him?
As a player, are you picking up Duke Nukem Forever as a carnival sideshow, to be laughed and mocked? Do you come to the game as a archaeologist, looking around to see what took so goddamned long? This questions aren’t answered by the game, so I came to the conclusion that it was just a cynical money grab. Here’s hoping that Gearbox Software can take Duke forward in the future, as it is most assuredly going to be the case.
This isn’t to say that I was trying deprive myself of what Duke Nukem Forever has to offer. I felt that after I started playing the game, it just broke down. There’s nothing to see here, and no one's really surprised. This is a shame.
I think even if this game came out 5 or 6 years ago, it would still be laughed out of the room. Even to turn off modern convention and just play the game as if it’s “old school” flavor is a disservice to old school and nostalgia. This game is a complete recouping of 2K Games’ money/time and the joke is on us the consumer just wanting to hang with our old friend Duke.
The game itself feels like many different pieces tied together to form something resembling a campaign. Had Duke just stuck to the solo adventuring of his earlier efforts, I think the game wouldn’t come off so horribly. The fact that you interact with other characters near the beginning of the game, instantly tips you off that the smell you keep whiffing is the dog turd this game is. The character models are stiff and animate poorly. I had to wait for a NPC to move out of my way just to get down a hallway. There’s no clear direction on where to go half the time, I guess level design that guides the player is too much of a modern contrivance, and real men don’t need maps or arrows pointing you around to counteract the shitty design. The graphics seem to vary from level to level, with some giving off that ultra polished vibe, especially with some of the bigger enemies, and some levels just being the muddy, turd like Unreal engine fueled bogs that they are.
The lengthy development also betrays a lot of the “inspiration” (read: theft) of contemporary shooters during the time of Duke’s design. Physics puzzles from Half Life 2 and the mid 00’s, recharging health bar from Halo, first person platforming and jump pads from the late 90’s, vehicle portions from this last little bit of shooters, all show up and are executed so poorly. You’re probably better off just playing the inspiration and resigning yourself from the frustration.
I’d be curious to see what 13-15 year old boys have to say about this game. Outside of “it’s old” or “it sucks”. Even I can tap into a little bit of what Duke Nukem Forever is trying to stab at with the one-liners and general aesthetic. In fact, I played the first Duke when I was 14 on the Nintendo 64. Granted, it’s a PG-13 version of the game, but coming from my puritanical child rearing wherein I was not allowed to watch The Simpsons because Bart said damn one time, or Beavis and Butt-head for similar reasons, Duke 3D was a Star Gate to a world and game design that I’d never seen before and gave a firm handshake to my developing psyche as a pubescent young man.
Duke 3D wasn’t without it’s frustrations, not to say that it drug on well past the gloss and sheen of the earlier parts of the game. Dare I say, parts were down right boring and unfun slog fests mirroring the key card fetch quests of it‘s Mars based brethren. Where I could see that a George Broussard with his close-minded egotistical fortitude could parlay that in to a “it ain’t broke so don’t fix it” mentality that permeates Duke Nukem Forever.
As a study in that “it ain’t broke” mentality, Duke Nukem Forever shows how far the industry has come in just 5 years, let alone the 12-15 years it took for Duke to come out of the oven still undercooked and bland. There are parts of Duke Nukem Forever that show someone came along much later and added a modern coat of paint to the proceedings, but that does little to mask the stench of an old, rotting, turgid game design.
Duke Nukem Forever isn’t a lesson in game development. More likely, it’s a horror story much like a Frankenstein’s monster. There was a good idea in there at one point, something to aspire to. Over time, that idea became warped and bloated, then became a hot mess unloaded on to a shrugging masses.
I don’t know if Duke Nukem is loved ironically or not. Duke Nukem Forever could’ve gone a long way to answer that question. It could’ve taken up a lot of the campaign just mocking how out of touch Duke had become, or just go whole hog with the cartoonish world that’s laid out before him. Nevertheless, this halfassery does nothing but complicate the Duke Nukem quandary. Are you laughing with him or at him?
As a player, are you picking up Duke Nukem Forever as a carnival sideshow, to be laughed and mocked? Do you come to the game as a archaeologist, looking around to see what took so goddamned long? This questions aren’t answered by the game, so I came to the conclusion that it was just a cynical money grab. Here’s hoping that Gearbox Software can take Duke forward in the future, as it is most assuredly going to be the case.
This isn’t to say that I was trying deprive myself of what Duke Nukem Forever has to offer. I felt that after I started playing the game, it just broke down. There’s nothing to see here, and no one's really surprised. This is a shame.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Review: X-Men: First Class
Big Takeaway: X-Men film reboot with 90% less Bryan Singer than before!
Little Takeaway: The summer movie season kicks off with an above board rebooting of the X-Men films, with a sexy 60’s throwback vibe and just as unsexy special effects.
Review:
You can’t go wrong with the reboot mechanic. In full disclosure, out of the three earlier X-Men films, I only saw X2. I mainly avoid the X-Men movies because Hugh Jackman, while a good actor, is a shitty Wolverine. Also Halle Berry's Storm...sheesh. My disinterest share a similar vein with most super-hero comic movies: there’s not enough disbelief in the world to supplant the comic book image within a mortal prism. Most superheroes are exaggerated and buffoonish characterizations of the human form. To then see an actor attempt to give levity to it is pretty ludicrous. I guess that’s why they call it suspension of disbelief.
Ridiculous aversions aside, X-Men is a good start to the summer movie season. It’s well paced, tells a good story and doesn’t bog you down with explosions and monkey’s. Set in the early 60’s, X-Men tells the tale of Charles Xavier, a mutant with telepathy, and his forming of the X-Men: a group of mutants doing good for a mankind that may not be so accommodating. Cast opposite of Xavier is Erik Lensherr, a mutant that can manipulate metal objects. His loses his family to Nazi’s and is “adopted” by Sebastian Shaw, who tutors him in his new found power through rage and odd experimentation. This is the crux of the plot, the two opposites of the mutant coin. Xavier wants the mutants to do good for mankind, and Lensherr see’s the mutants as the next link in the evolutionary chain, and humankind as an obstacle to be crushed.
But for this sake of this movie, Sebastian Shaw is the main antagonist for most of them film. Kevin Bacon acts the shit out of this movie, and while he looks very silly with the “Magneto” helmet on, is a pretty good bad guy. Christoph Waltz must’ve been busy, or tuned this movie down as Bacon pretty much apes his performance from Inglourious Basterds throughout the film, on top speaking German and Russian as he travels the worlds stirring up mayhem. Shaw’s main goal during the film is to start World War III and it’s up to Xavier and his group to stop them.
The biggest problem with this film, as with most superhero comic films, is that there are too many people. The X-Men have Darwin, Havoc, Angel, Mystique, Beast, Banshee and Magneto. Shaw has himself, Emma Frost, Azazel, and Riptide. There’s just too many characters, most of them have little screen time, only coming out for the fight scenes. They mostly just stand around in the background as this movie eventually boils down to Xavier and Magneto’s conflict.
The Stan Lee elements of the X-Men universe also pop in to say hello in all their hammy goodness(paraphrased):
Hank/Beast: "It's called Cerebro."
Xavier: "That's spanish for Brain?"
The Special effects in this movie also leave a lot to be desired. Some of the effects like Azazel's teleporting looked cool and sharp. The Banshee/Angel air battle was grotesque in it's blurriness and general crap effects work. And one of these day's someone's going to make Beast actually look cool and not like Teen Wolf's dad. Seriously X-Men movie makers, just CGI the beast model on to an actor or something, stop with the practical effects, geez! Speaking of practical effects, the filmmakers didn't really know what to do with Mystique either. I understand that's PG-13 and they made the most of it, but there has to have been a better way of conveying that character without the "I'm just going to maintain a human form" cop out plot device.
While most of the movie is pretty well acted January Jones comes across as very stiff and wooden. While this works for Betty Draper (and I may residual bias against her from Mad Men), Emma Frost is not a sexed up Betty Draper. While I’m certain Jones can act, I just don’t think she was a right fit for the role and in fact just may have been stunt cast. Jennifer Lawrence came across as an odd casting choice. Her face was a bit too round for Mystique and she came across as chubby and uncomfortable. She seemed to lack chemistry with James McAvoy's Xavier, even though the script tried to cram this kinship/bond down your throat as much as possible. To top it off, Mystique is an odd, sexualized character, and Lawrence does little to mask that in a PG-13 film.
As a reboot, this is a much better start for the X-Men. I would’ve maybe preferred Magneto’s fall be spaced out between the first two movies, if this is indeed going to be a new trilogy, but I can definitely see a bright side to getting it out of the way early. I wouldn’t mind a Katie Holmes/Maggie Gyllenhaal switcheroo for the Emma Frost character, either. Seeing as I don’t count the yawn inducing Thor or raving mad cash cow of Pirates of the Caribbean as the start of Summer, this looks to be a great time for movies again.
Final Verdict: Go See It!
Little Takeaway: The summer movie season kicks off with an above board rebooting of the X-Men films, with a sexy 60’s throwback vibe and just as unsexy special effects.
Review:
You can’t go wrong with the reboot mechanic. In full disclosure, out of the three earlier X-Men films, I only saw X2. I mainly avoid the X-Men movies because Hugh Jackman, while a good actor, is a shitty Wolverine. Also Halle Berry's Storm...sheesh. My disinterest share a similar vein with most super-hero comic movies: there’s not enough disbelief in the world to supplant the comic book image within a mortal prism. Most superheroes are exaggerated and buffoonish characterizations of the human form. To then see an actor attempt to give levity to it is pretty ludicrous. I guess that’s why they call it suspension of disbelief.
Ridiculous aversions aside, X-Men is a good start to the summer movie season. It’s well paced, tells a good story and doesn’t bog you down with explosions and monkey’s. Set in the early 60’s, X-Men tells the tale of Charles Xavier, a mutant with telepathy, and his forming of the X-Men: a group of mutants doing good for a mankind that may not be so accommodating. Cast opposite of Xavier is Erik Lensherr, a mutant that can manipulate metal objects. His loses his family to Nazi’s and is “adopted” by Sebastian Shaw, who tutors him in his new found power through rage and odd experimentation. This is the crux of the plot, the two opposites of the mutant coin. Xavier wants the mutants to do good for mankind, and Lensherr see’s the mutants as the next link in the evolutionary chain, and humankind as an obstacle to be crushed.
But for this sake of this movie, Sebastian Shaw is the main antagonist for most of them film. Kevin Bacon acts the shit out of this movie, and while he looks very silly with the “Magneto” helmet on, is a pretty good bad guy. Christoph Waltz must’ve been busy, or tuned this movie down as Bacon pretty much apes his performance from Inglourious Basterds throughout the film, on top speaking German and Russian as he travels the worlds stirring up mayhem. Shaw’s main goal during the film is to start World War III and it’s up to Xavier and his group to stop them.
The biggest problem with this film, as with most superhero comic films, is that there are too many people. The X-Men have Darwin, Havoc, Angel, Mystique, Beast, Banshee and Magneto. Shaw has himself, Emma Frost, Azazel, and Riptide. There’s just too many characters, most of them have little screen time, only coming out for the fight scenes. They mostly just stand around in the background as this movie eventually boils down to Xavier and Magneto’s conflict.
The Stan Lee elements of the X-Men universe also pop in to say hello in all their hammy goodness(paraphrased):
Hank/Beast: "It's called Cerebro."
Xavier: "That's spanish for Brain?"
The Special effects in this movie also leave a lot to be desired. Some of the effects like Azazel's teleporting looked cool and sharp. The Banshee/Angel air battle was grotesque in it's blurriness and general crap effects work. And one of these day's someone's going to make Beast actually look cool and not like Teen Wolf's dad. Seriously X-Men movie makers, just CGI the beast model on to an actor or something, stop with the practical effects, geez! Speaking of practical effects, the filmmakers didn't really know what to do with Mystique either. I understand that's PG-13 and they made the most of it, but there has to have been a better way of conveying that character without the "I'm just going to maintain a human form" cop out plot device.
While most of the movie is pretty well acted January Jones comes across as very stiff and wooden. While this works for Betty Draper (and I may residual bias against her from Mad Men), Emma Frost is not a sexed up Betty Draper. While I’m certain Jones can act, I just don’t think she was a right fit for the role and in fact just may have been stunt cast. Jennifer Lawrence came across as an odd casting choice. Her face was a bit too round for Mystique and she came across as chubby and uncomfortable. She seemed to lack chemistry with James McAvoy's Xavier, even though the script tried to cram this kinship/bond down your throat as much as possible. To top it off, Mystique is an odd, sexualized character, and Lawrence does little to mask that in a PG-13 film.
As a reboot, this is a much better start for the X-Men. I would’ve maybe preferred Magneto’s fall be spaced out between the first two movies, if this is indeed going to be a new trilogy, but I can definitely see a bright side to getting it out of the way early. I wouldn’t mind a Katie Holmes/Maggie Gyllenhaal switcheroo for the Emma Frost character, either. Seeing as I don’t count the yawn inducing Thor or raving mad cash cow of Pirates of the Caribbean as the start of Summer, this looks to be a great time for movies again.
Final Verdict: Go See It!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Jack Krier and the Amazing "Intellectual Dishonesty"!
I think I finally understand how right-wingers feel when anyone fellates Bill Clinton’s legacy, or I guess even FDR for that matter. Every time I read about how awesome (so awesome) Ronald Reagan was, my arm starts cramping from all the knocking his dick out of every single right wing nut’s mouth. Our beautiful Friend of the City Haterville™ Jack Krier chimes in with some recent knee bruising gobbling. Hell, by now he’s even got an over-sized bib to collect all the drippings to later be canned up and broke out to sniff from time to time when that black man running the country, who’s ruining everything, subverts more of his freedoms.
He starts with that old Reagan adage: “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close semblance to the first.”. Mr. Krier fails to remember that he said this while being spread eagle in the Lincoln bedroom taking it from every corporate interest lobby, evangelical bible thumper, wall street coke hound, and anyone with a “generous” campaign contribution right in his asshole throughout his entire administration. When Dick Cheney is spouting that “Reagan proved that deficits don’t matter,” and the fact that he raised taxes after a couple disastrous attempts at deregulation, pretty much creating this fiscal tsunami we’re currently failing at, you can’t tell me he was a font of political immaculateness.
More to the point I think the beginning of Mr. Krier’s article is more a veiled attempt to call Nancy Pelosi a whore. Clever girl! Who’s “intellectual dishonesty” (the lower bar of the uneven bar gymnastics Mr. Krier will attempt in his article) is an example of why politicians are the bane to the public general.
Her crime? Oh, yeah that’s coming. She said in 2006: “Even if Osama bin Laden is caught tomorrow, it is five years too late. He has done more damage the longer he has been out there. But, in fact, the damage that he has done .. Is done. And even to capture him now I don’t think makes us any safer.”. Mr. Krier then flashes forward with her recent comment after the death of bin Laden: “The death of Osama bin Laden marks the most significant development in our fight against al-Qaeda…” she then goes on to congratulate the President and the administration involved, the boiler plate stuff you’re all familiar with by now in regard to bin Laden’s demise. Mr. Krier believes those two statements are tantamount to partisan hackery and foolishness. In fact it is conclusive proof of “intellectual dishonesty”.
First of all, what the hell is “intellectual dishonesty“? Especially in this case. These are two separate statements that are…well, SEPARATE STATEMENTS. These are nothing compared to the “President Bush deserves the credit for this, not Obama” bullshit that the right wing has been parroting since the president stepped away from the podium on that May 1st evening. Even that is a flimsy statement, and lo, only the lowliest of the right wing buffoon’s trumpet that one, Mr. Krier being one of those it seems. The first statement is a very important point that needed to be made. The damage bin Laden did to our society on 9/11 left a deep wound that will never heal fully. Especially coupled with the way the Bush administration used it to fuel the deep uprooting of our constitutional freedoms, amongst other things and not limited to the useless invasion of Iraq to nab not bin Laden but some other character not even wholly involved! And did killing bin Laden make us any safer? Uh, no. Al-Qaeda didn’t poof in to smoke and fade away the moment bin Laden ate it, or am I mistaken? Suffice it to say, the wound is still healing.
Mr. Krier wonders why the good ole “mainstream media” didn’t pick this hypocrisy up and splash it at least under the massive “bin Laden Dead!” headlines. No great pressings of “Politician caught being duplicitous!” What? Again!? Really, Mr. Krier if that’s her high crime against the American public then we have a bigger problem on our hands. Strangely Mr. Krier failed to run this on the front page of ANY of his papers, let alone any other pages. He just chose to editorialize about it. Hrm, that’s curious.
But you see Mr. Krier, she wasn’t being “intellectually dishonest”. The second statement is, again, a boilerplate congratulations, one that she would’ve gladly heaped (though slightly begrudgingly like your fellow right wingers to Obama) on President Bush had he even bothered to capture bin Laden. The fact that you had to go to some right wing blog called Power Line to dig up this juicy journalistic nugget, also kind of tips your hand to your own ravaged partisanship.
Mr. Krier, can we also let go of those Red Herring’s “mainstream media” and “both sides are guilty”? I’m going to go ahead and state for the record that there hasn’t been a real good modern ‘republican” president since Teddy Roosevelt and he’d slap the taste out the mouths of anyone calling themselves republican if he were alive today. Both sides are guilty only in being an amalgamation of everything wrong with our political system today. There’s honestly no real difference anymore, they are in fact the very whores you speak of early in the column! But republican presidents, and congressmen/women share one common theme: they continually set our society on the path to ruin, and betray the trust of those who voted them in to office in the first place(see Nixon, Reagan, Bush I, Hoover). This is why you’re constantly waiving the “both sides are complicit” bullshit every time one of your boys plunges our economy or public conscience in to the toilet. Even the republicans that you should claim on high with Reaganesque cockgobblings gusto like the afore mention Theodore Roosevelt (hell Abraham Lincoln anyone?), you disavow in a heartbeat because they smell a hint of compromise and progressive societal gain, plus it goes too far back in history to be relevant to the revisionist bent of right wingers!
It’s why you constantly need to buoy your failed republican presidencies with revisionist history nonsense. Reagan has his questionable Iranian Hostage Crisis, desperately clawing away at Carter’s legacy as you’re favorite whipping boy of democrat flavored failure. Yet, you have the temerity to waddle up to the collective table and declare this a “W” in the win column for Bush’s horrible legacy? Never mind that he’s been out of office for two years, AND (as previously stated) had pretty much GIVEN UP looking for Osama bin Laden in 2002. http://tiny.cc/o85yi (Thank God for the Internets and YouTube!) That was nearly 10 years ago!
If I’m also not mistaken, didn’t you win the “Reid-Pelosi is a two headed demon who will eat your babies and awash you in financial ruin, cursing you and your kin for all time to the demon Chinese slave trade to work off your formidable debts….” You get the idea. How’s that Tea Party thing working out for you? Oh, caught them spread out too huh?
Mainstream media? Come on Mr. Krier, I could at least respect you if you were to call it the “corporate media” that it truly is. The only bent is to protect that corporate interest and the advertising dollars that fuel it. I don’t watch much network news (I read news articles and watch multiple news sources, you should try it sometime), but when I do happen upon a nightly news, there’s nothing resembling journalism going on. I often wonder if the Today Show has expanded to nineteenth segment, set during the evening. That is how lapse it seems. If there is a partisan bent, it’s not calling out your buffoonish demagogues in the Congress, who seem to be the most able of putting foot in mouth on a regular basis. Need I remind of you Newt’s twisting and turning a few weeks ago? Or are you going to disown him too and say that both sides are guilty of this type of harsh, idiotic backpedaling on a regular basis?
The approval rating of congress is never going to really matter. For good reason. No one’s going ever to be happy with anything a bunch of whore’s try to cook up. The brothel smells and hasn’t been properly cleaned in ages. Yea, there’s a constant stream of fresh meat, bused in from the Midwest (tea party darlings are soooo sweet!), but they too eventually reek of the same ole same ole.
Perhaps, to wrap this all around to your whore analogy, you’re tired of the same offerings of the tired, old, saggy titted Reagan and this is a flimsy way to find a new John to furiously blow for the next thirty-odd years? The unsurprisingly ability of people like Mr. Krier and his ilk to boldly attempt to twist history the exact moment it comes out is something that needs to be watched closely. Unfortunately, this is where journalists came in and protected us from falsities and revisionist demagoguery of right wing blowhards. And even so, Mr. Krier is a “journalist” and has no real qualms pushing lies and half-truths in all of his papers, willingly betraying the very public he should be educating. Intellectual dishonesty indeed, eh Mr. Krier?
***Mayor’s Note: This is Jack Krier’s second mention in this minutes reporting. I noticed in my stats a lot of hits from Google for Jack Krier recently, so felt obliged to the old man who probably spends what little time he has left on earth “Google”’ing himself. He squeezes this in between race baiting, typing up horrible blonde jokes and misinforming local yokels who don’t know what Google even is with his white knuckle ranting/dragging “editorials“ in the myriad of small town papers he publishes every so often.***
He starts with that old Reagan adage: “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close semblance to the first.”. Mr. Krier fails to remember that he said this while being spread eagle in the Lincoln bedroom taking it from every corporate interest lobby, evangelical bible thumper, wall street coke hound, and anyone with a “generous” campaign contribution right in his asshole throughout his entire administration. When Dick Cheney is spouting that “Reagan proved that deficits don’t matter,” and the fact that he raised taxes after a couple disastrous attempts at deregulation, pretty much creating this fiscal tsunami we’re currently failing at, you can’t tell me he was a font of political immaculateness.
More to the point I think the beginning of Mr. Krier’s article is more a veiled attempt to call Nancy Pelosi a whore. Clever girl! Who’s “intellectual dishonesty” (the lower bar of the uneven bar gymnastics Mr. Krier will attempt in his article) is an example of why politicians are the bane to the public general.
Her crime? Oh, yeah that’s coming. She said in 2006: “Even if Osama bin Laden is caught tomorrow, it is five years too late. He has done more damage the longer he has been out there. But, in fact, the damage that he has done .. Is done. And even to capture him now I don’t think makes us any safer.”. Mr. Krier then flashes forward with her recent comment after the death of bin Laden: “The death of Osama bin Laden marks the most significant development in our fight against al-Qaeda…” she then goes on to congratulate the President and the administration involved, the boiler plate stuff you’re all familiar with by now in regard to bin Laden’s demise. Mr. Krier believes those two statements are tantamount to partisan hackery and foolishness. In fact it is conclusive proof of “intellectual dishonesty”.
First of all, what the hell is “intellectual dishonesty“? Especially in this case. These are two separate statements that are…well, SEPARATE STATEMENTS. These are nothing compared to the “President Bush deserves the credit for this, not Obama” bullshit that the right wing has been parroting since the president stepped away from the podium on that May 1st evening. Even that is a flimsy statement, and lo, only the lowliest of the right wing buffoon’s trumpet that one, Mr. Krier being one of those it seems. The first statement is a very important point that needed to be made. The damage bin Laden did to our society on 9/11 left a deep wound that will never heal fully. Especially coupled with the way the Bush administration used it to fuel the deep uprooting of our constitutional freedoms, amongst other things and not limited to the useless invasion of Iraq to nab not bin Laden but some other character not even wholly involved! And did killing bin Laden make us any safer? Uh, no. Al-Qaeda didn’t poof in to smoke and fade away the moment bin Laden ate it, or am I mistaken? Suffice it to say, the wound is still healing.
Mr. Krier wonders why the good ole “mainstream media” didn’t pick this hypocrisy up and splash it at least under the massive “bin Laden Dead!” headlines. No great pressings of “Politician caught being duplicitous!” What? Again!? Really, Mr. Krier if that’s her high crime against the American public then we have a bigger problem on our hands. Strangely Mr. Krier failed to run this on the front page of ANY of his papers, let alone any other pages. He just chose to editorialize about it. Hrm, that’s curious.
But you see Mr. Krier, she wasn’t being “intellectually dishonest”. The second statement is, again, a boilerplate congratulations, one that she would’ve gladly heaped (though slightly begrudgingly like your fellow right wingers to Obama) on President Bush had he even bothered to capture bin Laden. The fact that you had to go to some right wing blog called Power Line to dig up this juicy journalistic nugget, also kind of tips your hand to your own ravaged partisanship.
Mr. Krier, can we also let go of those Red Herring’s “mainstream media” and “both sides are guilty”? I’m going to go ahead and state for the record that there hasn’t been a real good modern ‘republican” president since Teddy Roosevelt and he’d slap the taste out the mouths of anyone calling themselves republican if he were alive today. Both sides are guilty only in being an amalgamation of everything wrong with our political system today. There’s honestly no real difference anymore, they are in fact the very whores you speak of early in the column! But republican presidents, and congressmen/women share one common theme: they continually set our society on the path to ruin, and betray the trust of those who voted them in to office in the first place(see Nixon, Reagan, Bush I, Hoover). This is why you’re constantly waiving the “both sides are complicit” bullshit every time one of your boys plunges our economy or public conscience in to the toilet. Even the republicans that you should claim on high with Reaganesque cockgobblings gusto like the afore mention Theodore Roosevelt (hell Abraham Lincoln anyone?), you disavow in a heartbeat because they smell a hint of compromise and progressive societal gain, plus it goes too far back in history to be relevant to the revisionist bent of right wingers!
It’s why you constantly need to buoy your failed republican presidencies with revisionist history nonsense. Reagan has his questionable Iranian Hostage Crisis, desperately clawing away at Carter’s legacy as you’re favorite whipping boy of democrat flavored failure. Yet, you have the temerity to waddle up to the collective table and declare this a “W” in the win column for Bush’s horrible legacy? Never mind that he’s been out of office for two years, AND (as previously stated) had pretty much GIVEN UP looking for Osama bin Laden in 2002. http://tiny.cc/o85yi (Thank God for the Internets and YouTube!) That was nearly 10 years ago!
If I’m also not mistaken, didn’t you win the “Reid-Pelosi is a two headed demon who will eat your babies and awash you in financial ruin, cursing you and your kin for all time to the demon Chinese slave trade to work off your formidable debts….” You get the idea. How’s that Tea Party thing working out for you? Oh, caught them spread out too huh?
Mainstream media? Come on Mr. Krier, I could at least respect you if you were to call it the “corporate media” that it truly is. The only bent is to protect that corporate interest and the advertising dollars that fuel it. I don’t watch much network news (I read news articles and watch multiple news sources, you should try it sometime), but when I do happen upon a nightly news, there’s nothing resembling journalism going on. I often wonder if the Today Show has expanded to nineteenth segment, set during the evening. That is how lapse it seems. If there is a partisan bent, it’s not calling out your buffoonish demagogues in the Congress, who seem to be the most able of putting foot in mouth on a regular basis. Need I remind of you Newt’s twisting and turning a few weeks ago? Or are you going to disown him too and say that both sides are guilty of this type of harsh, idiotic backpedaling on a regular basis?
The approval rating of congress is never going to really matter. For good reason. No one’s going ever to be happy with anything a bunch of whore’s try to cook up. The brothel smells and hasn’t been properly cleaned in ages. Yea, there’s a constant stream of fresh meat, bused in from the Midwest (tea party darlings are soooo sweet!), but they too eventually reek of the same ole same ole.
Perhaps, to wrap this all around to your whore analogy, you’re tired of the same offerings of the tired, old, saggy titted Reagan and this is a flimsy way to find a new John to furiously blow for the next thirty-odd years? The unsurprisingly ability of people like Mr. Krier and his ilk to boldly attempt to twist history the exact moment it comes out is something that needs to be watched closely. Unfortunately, this is where journalists came in and protected us from falsities and revisionist demagoguery of right wing blowhards. And even so, Mr. Krier is a “journalist” and has no real qualms pushing lies and half-truths in all of his papers, willingly betraying the very public he should be educating. Intellectual dishonesty indeed, eh Mr. Krier?
***Mayor’s Note: This is Jack Krier’s second mention in this minutes reporting. I noticed in my stats a lot of hits from Google for Jack Krier recently, so felt obliged to the old man who probably spends what little time he has left on earth “Google”’ing himself. He squeezes this in between race baiting, typing up horrible blonde jokes and misinforming local yokels who don’t know what Google even is with his white knuckle ranting/dragging “editorials“ in the myriad of small town papers he publishes every so often.***
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